2016 2 Putter P-I-G Point Series

Got some catsup to do here after a slightly tardy update. 2 weeks ago we had a rowdy crowd and the fun started early with a fun surprise as the highest tag started first. Putts were missed, heckl ... show more ›

Got some catsup to do here after a slightly tardy update.

2 weeks ago we had a rowdy crowd and the fun started early with a fun surprise as the highest tag started first. Putts were missed, heckles were shouted, people cried, and the 5.0 rolled through in true piggy fashion.
Kat canned some nice putts, and kept Clair, Zach and Geli on their toes. After Zach's failed attempts at squatting in the bushes, where most Dubz players have taken to peeing..., Clair led the little piggy to the packaging plant and came home with some delightful little links, licking his chops.

Here is what Clair had to say afterward:
http://youtu.be/UZTK8ywMNfQ

The most recent match featured a leaner sounder. What we lacked in numbers though, we made up for in very spirited heckling and some quite personal attacks. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and some were ready to take the verbal abuse and language so profane sailors would blush. Amidst chants of "peanut butta", some nice putts were made including a doozy of a around the back from a rock. Clair and Zach managed to square off in the pen again, this time with some different results. The GOAT showed up and refused to yield to the very patriotic and flag clad returning champion. Best of luck next time.

The GOATs jam:
http://youtu.be/cVY_NhSw5e0

Fitz in both spaces: http://youtu.be/_ZN3weW1udE


I'm going with this for my entry P-I-G jam: http://youtu.be/Adw772km7PQ


Double Blue Light Joke Special:

1). A man is leaning on a farm gate, watching the farmer round up some sheep when he realises that the farmer isn't using a sheepdog, but rather a pig. What's more, the pig, which is expertly manoeuvring the sheep into a pen, only has three legs. "Excuse me," says the man to the farmer, "but why has that pig only got three legs?" "Let me tell you a bit about that pig", says the farmer. "That pig not only herds my sheep, he also crows in the morning, milks the cows morning and night and collects the eggs from the hens." "And that's not all!", he continued, "that pig can count! He counts so well that he does all the farm accounts and fills in my tax forms." "What an amazing pig!" Says the man. "I ain't finished!", says the farmer. "Two years ago, my farmhouse caught fire and the pig called the fire brigade and then fetched water from the river to douse the flames in the hall. He then fought his way through the smoke to where my wife and children lay unconscious and dragged them from the burning house." "Wow!", says the man,"that really is an incredible pig. But I still don't understand why he only has three legs." "Ah, well", says the farmer, "when you have a pig that is that special, you don't eat him all at once...".


2). Three farmers had been competing at the state fair for several years now for the biggest pig contest. Each year though all three farmers would lose to a pig from another county. So, Farmer John calls farmer Brown and Farmer Dan over to his house one day. Farmer John had the idea that the reason each one of them lost separately was because neither of them had a farm with enough food to feed their respective pigs, so the animals never grew big enough. He set down the idea that the three of them pull their resources and enter next year’s contest together with a single pig. All agreed.
And so, Farmer Brown, Dan, and John raised a single piglet to a good sized hog, but upon seeing what the other state’s farmers were raising the were dismayed by the fact that their pig just wasn’t big enough.
“I have an idea” Farmer Brown said. “This pig shits too much, let’s put a plug in his ass to keep him from shitting, and that ought to make him nice and fat.” They all agreed
And so, the pig with a plug in his ass got nice and fat, fatter than any other pig in the state. So fat in fact he was a fair record breaker. The three farmers went home, glade to each have been given a blue ribbon for raising such a prize worthy pig. The time then came then that the pig had to go to slaughter, but before they could do that the farmers had to remove the plug in his ass.
“Well I ain’t doin’ it.” Farmer Brown said. “That pig is HUGE, big as a shed, and all that shit in there? Nu-uh. Not happening. Sides, it was my idea to put the plug there, one of you do it.”
“Dun look at me, I’s the one that pulled the pig on my trailer. You do it.” Farmer John quarreled.
“Wait fellahs,” Farmer John interrupted. “We got this far without fighting, let’s not start now. I have an idea. I got a monkey. He’ll do anything for a peanut. If I give him a peanut, I reckon I can get him to pull the plug out for us.” They all agreed. Farmer John left to get his monkey and a bag of peanuts. When he came back he put the monkey down and held out a peanut for him. “All right Bo-bo. Go get the-“
“Hold on!” farmer Brown said, stepping forward and holding back John’s hand. “Not here. If that pigs gon’ shit let it be in the field. Yuh know, free fertilizer.”
John nodded and they all headed out to Brown’s field. John stood the closest, with Brown about half way between the pig and the edge of the field, and Dan standing at its edge. When Farmer John sent his monkey Bo-bo to pull the plug there was a great resounding, long, wet fart followed by a great black-brown foul smelling torrent of pig shit that rose up to Dan’s ankles. Brown was up to his hips in pig leavings, and John? John was up to his neck, laughing.
Dan and Brown were rightly and reasonably mad, both cursing up storm until their saw Farmer John laughing. “What the hell you laughing for?” Shouted Dan, trying to shake the stink off his legs.
“Yeah, you’re up to your neck in filth” Added Brown
Between alternating gasps and gags John looked back at the other two. “You should have seen that monkey trying to put that plug back!”